the Mighty Cattle
by Lissie
Summary: A parody of the Mighty Ducks, except with a *mystery team/group/etc* instead of a hockey team. Read to find out! Please read-n-review! (Rated for some swearing). *CHAPTER 4 IS UP*
1. Prologue

The Mighty Cattle  
Prologue  
***********  
The boy picked up his trumpet and prepared  
for his solo.   
  
It was up to him to win the match for the   
Wolverines.  
  
"...don't screw this up..." his coach  
had said to him.  
  
He was not going to mess anything  
up this time.  
  
He walked up to center stage, adjusted  
his uniform, fixed the plume in his hat,  
and placed his sheet music on the stand.  
  
The boy waited for the judge's hand   
signal.  
  
It came, and he began to play.  
  
Everything was perfect...until he  
played a series of five wrong notes.  
  
When he got his less-than perfect score,  
he crumpled to the ground, instrument   
forgotten.  
  
The other band came together  
in jubilation.  
  
He lost the match.  
  
He'd failed his father.  
  
He would never pick up a trumpet  
again.  
***************  
DISC: The Mighty Ducks belong  
to Disney.  
  
A/N: I know that bands don't really  
participate in "one-on-one band meets".   
They do, sometimes, have competitions.  
Well, at least, my band does.  
If yours doesn't, just roll with me.  
It's for the story. 


	2. Pranks, Drunken-ness, and Lawyers

The Mighty Cattle  
******************  
Three preteen boys laughed as they held the   
purse in front of them.   
  
"Hey Eric, think it'll work?"   
Tim said.  
  
"No doubt," Eric answered, sure  
of himself.  
  
"Okay, Tim, drop it," commanded  
Dave, the last boy.  
  
Tim dropped the purse, and slid a  
dollar bill into the opening.  
The boys ran and hid, giggling when  
a man jumped out of a car to   
retrieve the purse.   
  
The man jumped out of the   
car, angry, spotted the boys,  
and chased after them.  
After a while, he injured  
his crotch and was forced   
to give up the chase.  
  
"Damn you!"  
  
"Score!" Eric yelled, high-fiving  
his friends.  
  
"That shows Darren!"  
*****************************  
Jordan Gombay, attorney-at-law, walked into the  
bar. He downed about seven beers, then, drunk,  
stumbled out to his car.  
  
His vision started to get blurry when he drove  
onto the highway. After a few minutes, he ended  
up wrecking his car and another car.  
********************  
The judge looked Gombay over with disgust.  
  
"Jordan Gombay, this is your second DUI in  
two months. I hereby sentence you to 1000  
hours of community service, and two months  
in jail."  
  
Gombay put his head in his hands.  
  
"This is NOT happening."  
**********************  
Garry Cattlesworth stared Gombay down,   
scaring him, in a way.   
  
"Jordan, you just canNOT keep cavorting like  
this. The firm's been losing business ever   
since the trial."  
  
"Sorry, sir."  
  
"Sorry isn't good enough. I can't have a drunk  
working at this firm. Nobody would have us  
handle their cases."  
  
Jordan nodded.  
  
"I cut a deal with the judge. If I drop you from  
the firm for a couple months, and have you   
do your community service hours, then you will  
not have to serve the time in jail."  
  
Jordan's eyes widened as he said, "You didn't say  
yes, did you?"  
  
Cattlesworth winced, and he answered, "Yes, I did."  
  
"But--"  
  
"No buts, Jordan. Report to this address on Tuesday  
when you will begin your hours. All the information  
is here," Cattlesworth said as he handed the envelope  
to Jordan.  
  
After strolling to his office, Jordan opened the envelope   
to see what he'd have to do.  
  
"Oh sh--I'm directing a marching band?"  
  
He fainted.  
*************  
DISCLAIMER: I do not own the Mighty Ducks.  
  
The members of the marching band are based on the   
members of the marching band in my class. Love  
ya'll! 


	3. Meeting the Band

The Mighty Cattle  
******  
In a gymnasium in southern Connecticut,  
about twenty students were attempting to   
play instruments.   
  
"Ok, guys, let's try the B flat concert  
scale," a short blond alto sax player  
shouted amongst the ruckus.  
  
"Trev, dude, ya know that we'll never  
be able ta play for the school," stated  
Claudia Cortes, drummer.  
  
"Ah, shut it, Claudia," Katheryn  
Patersen, lone trombonist  
angrily shouted  
  
"Speak for yourself, Katie,"   
came the reply.  
  
"Aah, just play the friggin' scale,"  
Jenna Gregory, flutist, practically shouted.  
  
Everybody agreed, and one of the drummers  
decided to conduct them. All the percussionists  
covered their ears to shut out the horrible sound.  
  
About halfway through the scale, the doors to the  
gym opened. Everyone stopped playing, and turned  
around to see a man in a suit, cell in hand, enter.  
  
Whispers circulated across the gym, until Claudia  
stepped forward.   
  
"Hey mister, we don't allow drug dealers in this   
gymnasium."  
  
The man answered, "I'm not a drug dealer, I'm   
your new band director, Jordan Gombay."  
  
"Got evidence?"  
  
He reached into his coat, and they all stared,  
expecting a gun.  
  
"Andresen, Trevor... alto; Borger, Eric...trumpet;   
Carter, Alysa...flute and oboe; Caruthers, Tim,  
alto sax; Cortes, Claudia...percussion; Gregory,   
Jenna...flute and bells..." he read off a list.  
  
"Okay, so you are our director," piped up Jimmy  
Reese,  
a skinny boy grasping drumsticks, "..what  
are we gonna do, then?"  
  
"B flat concert scale, in a round. You,  
you, you and you start."  
  
Alysa Carter raised her hand.  
  
"What?"  
  
"Aren't you going to learn our names?"  
  
"No. Now play."  
  
"Just to warn you, we really suck,"  
Joe Vangas confided to the director.  
  
They all started to play at once,   
sounding like a dying moose.  
Gombay winced, and yelled for the   
kids to stop.  
  
'They really suck,' he thought.  
  
"What happened to your last director?  
Didn't he teach you anything?" Gombay  
asked, massaging his temples.  
  
They all looked at each other, until   
Tim Caruthers spoke up.  
  
"Well, during this meet, he started rubbing  
his arm, and all of a sudden, he fell  
on the ground and started twitchin'."  
  
"Great, the guy had a friggin' heart  
attack..." Gombay whispered to no  
one in particular, and popped an  
aspirin.  
  
"Oh, so THAT'S what happened,"  
Tony Xiu said, as if it were the  
most important thing in the   
world.   
  
As one, the rest of the band  
let out a sigh.  
  
"What, I though he had food  
poisoning."  
  
"Aah, shut the hell up,"   
  
While Jordan was rubbing his head  
in pain, Katheryn walked up to him  
  
"Hey coach, I'm Katie. I'm the trombonist."  
  
Jordan, still massaging his temples, managed to answer,  
"You don't say."  
  
Meanwhile, the rest of the band was engaged in  
an all-for-one brawl, screaming and punching,  
the flutes beating up the rest of the band.  
  
"Fine, practice is over."  
  
Jordan walked out to his limo,  
only to have the kids follow him.  
  
"Can we have a ride?" they said hopefully.  
  
"Fine..." Jordan said, just to stop them from  
bugging him.  
  
They all piled into the 'sine, and began to drive  
around the parking lot, until a woman with  
curly hair waved her hands around crazily.  
  
Trevor slumped in his seat.   
  
The limo driver pulled the limosuine to an abrupt  
stop. Reluctantly, the band filed out to hear  
Mrs. Andreson scream at Gombay.  
  
"You could have killed them!"  
  
"Ma'am, we were on the parking lot! I grew up  
on parking lots."  
  
"So what....Trevor, we're going home."  
  
Trevor walked behind his mother, and sent  
his friends a pleading look.   
  
After Mrs. Andreson was out of earshot,  
Darren Duncan blurted:  
  
"Ooh, Trevvie got ho-sed!"  
***********  
DISCLAIMER: I don't own the Mighty Ducks.  
They belong to Disney. The 'bandies' are based  
on the members of the band at my school. Love ya!  
Trevor Andreson belongs to me.   
  
A/N: How was it? Didja like it? 


	4. Pink, Wool, Purple Polka Dotted Lacy Swe...

The Mighty Cattle  
***************  
Jordan Gombay glided into the  
auditorium, to meet his band.  
His eyes opened wide, and he  
almost dropped to the ground  
laughing, when he saw the band in   
their assorted uniforms, consisting  
mainly of pink sweaters with purple  
polka dots with lacy collars  
and various other pink-and  
purple doo-dads.  
  
"HEY MR. G!" Joe shouted enthusiastically.  
  
They were all sugar high, as they'd downed  
about fifty containers of pixie stix, acting  
with great stupidity.  
  
"Mm...want a Pixie Stick, Mr. G?" Eric Borger  
offered.  
  
"Yeah, they're real good!" confirmed Dave   
Jamison.  
  
Jordan just ignored him, hoping that nobody  
would notice him escape.  
  
"Uh, I have to go to the bathroom," he excused   
himself.   
  
On his way to the bathroom, he saw a familiar man with  
gray hair and a huge mole on his nose.  
  
"Director Reagan?" Jordan thought to himself.  
  
Then, the man walked over and started talking to him.  
  
"Jordan? Haven't seen you in a while. Got a kid in the  
band?"  
  
Gombay answered, somewhat nervously,"No...I'm directing."  
  
Reagan laughed.  
  
"Good luck. You're gonna need it."  
*********************  
In a circle, the Wolverines shouted their cheer:  
"We rule, you drool, win big, win, win"  
  
Gordon got his band in a circle, and tried to get  
them to shout the Wolverine cheer.   
  
It didn't work.  
  
Jenna started to chant "Swing, batter batter   
batter, hit me batter, batter, batter..."  
  
"Jenna, this is marching band. We don't have batters."  
Gombay retorted, then turned his back and left.  
  
So, Jenna turned to Alysa and the Preston twins.  
  
"Then what DO we have?"  
  
Jaime and Jessica looked at each other, and then   
Alysa answered, "Well, we have drummers."  
  
"Oh, how 'bout, play drummer, drummer drummer, hit me  
drummer drummer drummer...."  
**********************  
The Wolverines were amazing, especially their first   
flute and clarinet player Andrew Parkinson. He was   
stellar, the creme de la creme.  
  
Dunegon was another story. The only people who showed  
talent was the drum line. Everyone else...well, they just  
sucked.  
  
Gombay downed the whole bottle of aspirin. Even that   
did not cure the horrible headache that Dunegon gave him.  
He'd tried to get them to cheat, but they wouldn't.  
Who would know that these clowns would have actual   
morals?  
  
After they'd been crushed by the Wolverines, Jordan   
gathered his band together and began to yell.   
  
"Do you like losing?" he angrily screached.  
  
"Nah, but after a while, ya kinda get used to it,"  
Trisha retorted rudely.  
  
Gombay was really getting frustrated.  
  
"Why the hell won't ya'll listen to me? Why?"  
  
Tim raised himself up, and answered with a frown:  
"Why the hell should we?"  
  
The whole team deserted him.  
****************************  
Jordan walked into the parking lot, where he saw  
another familiar face. Someone he actually liked.  
  
George.   
**************  
He opened the door to the instrument/ instrument  
repair shop.  
  
"Jordan?" George said.  
  
"How did you know it was me?" Jordan answered.  
  
"The way you open the door, angrily. Just sticks."  
  
There was a brief moment of silence.  
  
"Hear you're directing."  
  
"Yeah. Dunegon. They suck."  
  
George paused.  
  
"Well, I remember a little boy who used  
to play trumpet. Then that little boy grew  
up to be a cocky lawyer, who bosses around  
little band geeks for fun."  
  
Jordan's head sunk in shame.  
  
"You could do something for them, you know."  
  
Jordan raised his head slightly, and muttered,  
"You're right. I should be nicer to the band  
geeks. After all, I was one myself."  
  
"Well, it was nice to see you again, Jordan, but  
I must go."  
  
After George left the shop, Jordan suddenly had  
a great idea.   
********  
Will Mrs Andreson sue Jordan for the limo incident?  
Will Eric and Dave get a life?  
Will the band get talented?  
Find out in the next installment of...the Mighty   
Cattle!  
********  
A/N: Ooh, Jordan has an idea. This was longer  
than the other chappies. Obviously. Thanks  
for the reviews. XOXO ally  
  
DISCLAIMER: The Mighty Ducks belong to   
Disney. 


	5. George's Instrument and Instrument Repai...

the Mighty Cattle  
** **  
Jordan walked into Gary  
Cattlesworth's office,  
raising his hand as a  
greeting.  
  
"'lo, Gary."  
  
"Hello, Jordan. What   
is it that you want to   
talk to me about."  
  
Mr. Cattlesworth swerved  
around in his chair to face  
Gombay.   
  
"C'mon, take a seat."  
  
Jordan sat down in front  
of Mr. Cattlesworth's desk,  
and looked him straight in the   
eye,  
  
"Gary, I need to ask you a   
favour."  
  
"Yes..."  
  
"Well, would you consider sponsering  
my marching band?"  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Dunegon doesn't have good funding  
for the music program. I mean, they  
don't even have uniforms. Imagine  
having to wear a pink, itchy wool  
sweater with a lacy neck and polka  
dots?"  
  
"Well, Jordan...this is a law firm...."  
  
Cattlesworth seemed to be considering  
what Jordan had to say.  
  
"Gary, if you invest in this band, you'll  
be known as Cattlesworth, the law firm  
that gives back to the community."  
  
"Well...okay."  
** **  
Jordan led the band into George's shop.  
They all ooh-ed and ahhed, excitedly.  
  
Stephanie Bach and the rest of the  
clarinet section ran up to a display  
of reeds.  
00  
Trisha and Alysa looked at the piccolos,  
on display in the corner.  
  
Everybody was in seventh heaven.  
  
Timmy Caruthers was reading an article   
on the side of the cash register. An article  
about...Mr G? "'ey Fuzz, Tony come over here!"  
  
Darren and Tony walked over, and were surprised  
to hear Timmy say, "Gombay was a Wolverine."  
** **  
Elsewhere, Gombay was watching Trevor interact  
with a tall boy. He leaned over towards Claudia   
and asked her, "Claudia, who's that over by   
Trevor?"  
  
Claudia opened her mouth to answer, but Katie  
beat her to it. "Name's John Thomas. He's in  
my math class."  
  
"Heard he repeated sixth grade three t-"  
  
Gombay interupted Claudia and asked,"Does he  
play any instruments?"  
  
"Aah, think he's in the fife and drum corps."  
  
"He's got a scholarship, so's he can't play  
anything else."  
  
"We might be able to use 'im'."  
** **  
They'd picked out a uniform, still ugly but better  
than their old uniforms, in their school colors   
of pink and purple.   
  
They picked out lyres and   
A couple of days later, Gombay was being shuttled  
in his van to a band director's clinic when he heard  
somebody playing a bari sax in the alley. It was good,  
until whoever the person was hit a high note. The high  
note, consequently, broke the window of the van.  
  
Jordon had his driver stop, and he jumped out of the   
van, to chase the boy with the sax. As it was an   
alley, Jordon caught the boy, who happened to be   
John Thomas.  
  
"Sorry, mister...'bout the window..."  
  
"Ah, don't worry about the window. You're great.  
Why aren't you in the band?"  
  
"None of your business."  
  
The boy was clearly not buying Jordan's scheme.  
  
"Come again?"  
  
"None of your business."  
  
"Why not?"  
  
"Fine, I don't know how to use a stand, okay?"  
  
"Is that it?"  
  
And so Jordan had recruited a bari sax player.  
** **  
The band had taught John how to use a stand,  
and he found it easier than he thought it would   
be.   
  
Anyways, the band was walking into the school  
band room when they saw two students practising  
for a chamber music ensemble. They were rather  
good, so Jordan asked the band...  
  
"Wanna ask them to join?"  
  
"YEAH!"  
** **  
Melissa and Mark Waters played flute and bass  
clarinet, respectively. Jordan was instructing  
her how to play marching band tunes, when   
Mark said to Melissa,   
  
"Meli, if you want me to be in a chamber   
music thingy, than you gotta be in the  
marching band!"  
  
"I'm telling Mom!"  
  
By the end of the practice, Mark had switched  
from the bass clarinet to his true love, the  
tenor sax.   
** **  
Will Mark and Melissa help the band improve?  
Why can't John use a stand?  
Why would a guy play flute?  
Find out in the next installment of....  
the MIGHTY CATTLE  
** **  
DISC: You know the drill 


	6. Working out the Kinks

NOTE: I'm baaaaack! You were happy that I was gone, weren't you? Sorry I took so long. I've been engrossed in other things...including band. I haven't visited the MD section for a loooong time.  
  
DISC: I don't own MD. Nor do I own Bon Jovi or Pixie Stix. ---- They were psyched when the date for their next meet, against their cross- town rivals, the Maddison Tigersharks. They had cleaned up their act, and picked out music. Alysa had instructed everybody on marching positions (rest, ready, and playing), and about the use of lyres, as she was a veteran marcher and knew what she was doing.  
  
The Preston twins, who besides being band-geeks, were friends with the in- crowd, recruited some of their non-band friends for a flag squad.  
  
The band was coming together very nicely. Gombay, with tips from George, set up a marching formation and distributed piccolos to Trish and Alysa.. The flag squad had a wonderful routine, thanks to Fuzz's skills in choreography.  
  
The band had progressed rapidly, and picked up the new music very quickly. Gombay was impressed by them.  
  
---- When they arrived at Maddison, the band was in a state of sugar high. Eric and Dave had "accidentally" brought along a supply of Pixie Stix. They energetically tumbled out of the bus and set up the equipment. A tidal wave of pink-and-purple polka-dotted sweaters collapsed in the Maddison band room. Claudia led the band into a striking rendition of Bon Jovi's It's My Life, with the flutes on vocals and everybody else playing the background music, while Fuzz was choreographing the flag squad.  
  
This ain't a song for the broken-hearted.  
  
No silent prayer for the faith-departed.  
  
I ain't gonna be just a face in the crowd .  
  
You're gonna hear my voice .  
  
When I shout it out loud .  
  
It's my life  
  
It's now or never  
  
I ain't gonna live forever  
  
I just want to live while I'm alive  
  
It's my life.  
  
My heart is like an open highway  
  
Like Frankie said  
  
I did it my way.  
  
I just wanna live while I'm alive  
  
It's my life.  
  
"Shake it, Fuzzy-wozzy!" Melissa shouted.  
  
Fuzz spun around, stopped, and (in an Elvis-like way) said, "Thank you, thank you very much."  
  
Later, they calmed down. They must be serious about this. Their hard work could not go to rest, for fear that Gombay would end up like their prior band director.  
  
Maddison had a rather good music department, so when Donegon went to perform, they were nervous. Gombay comforted them with conventional words of wisdom.  
  
"Try again, you must."  
  
"Isn't that from Star Wars?" Tony asked. Jaime smacked him.  
  
"No shit, sherlock."  
  
Eric and Dave promptly began to sing the theme song, but were abruptly stopped when Steph smacked the backs of their heads.  
  
Suddenly, they were all silent. They calmly walked into the center of the arena. Everybody got into formation.  
  
Trevor began to count.  
  
"One.two.three."  
  
The band began to play.  
  
They had chosen a piece entitled Washington Post March, and it sounded wonderful. The judges were blown away by the improvement that Donegon had showed.  
  
After the piece, they huddled together and crossed their fingers.  
  
"And.this match ends with a tie!" one of the female judges announced.  
  
Donegon gathered themselves together in a huge group hug. They hadn't lost this time! Even if they did not win..it was better than nothing. ---- "We're the Cattle, we are the best.we're gonna put you to the test.." Amy started to sing on the bus ride back home.  
  
"So put on your head-dress." Timmy shouted.  
  
"And step on the gas," Alysa and Alisha cheered.  
  
"'Cuz we're gonna kick you in the.EVERYBODY! We will, we will.rock you, sock you, pick you up and drop you.cause we are the Cattle."  
  
Gombay smiled in spite of himself.  
  
It was going to be a long ride home. 


End file.
